15 AUG 2019
Today is my inaugural edition of dogscorporateblog! I haven’t really researched the topic of whining (that’s whining as in big wus versus winning as in Charlie Sheen) in Corporate America, but I am sure there are many blogs out there that cover the shenanigans and general BS of Corporate America (which here on in I will refer to as CA because I am too lazy to write it out every time). This blog is mine and it has been an idea of mine for quite some time that has been rattling around my head. There is plenty of room in there to rattle – just ask my coworkers. I am guessing there has got to be many other disenfranchised corporate grunts (aka minions) besides me that have CA stories to share. I hope that this pathetic blog becomes a watering hole for CA minions to gather and vent a little. Also, this blog’s intent is not to make money, get rich, take advantage of others with stupid schemes, etc. ; however, if for whatever reason you feel compelled to give me some of your paycheck, I will not look a gift horse in the mouth and gladly accept your hard earned cash. Why anyone would give me money is a complete mystery, but I suppose I could set up a “Go Fund Me” site in support of Corporate Minion Refugees…….
The main purpose of this blog is simply to whine, bitch, and moan about the crap many of us put up with at the J-O-B. Not only do I plan to exhaustively whine, bitch, and moan, but I also want to hear your whining, bitching, and moaning!!! It’s so true that misery loves company, or at a minimum, misery likes to whine, bitch, and moan about its company. I have given up on the idea of a career…. at this late date in my working life I will just settle for J-O-B and all that goes with it! You can’t kill my career – its already dead!!! I guess I should be happy that I just have a decent job (at least that’s what all the experts say). But, if I were to lose my job I am not sure how upset I would be. Would it be like ending a long-standing crappy personal relationship that had gone on way past its expiration date? The break-up feels a bad because of all the time and resources, emotional and otherwise, that you expended but at the same time its a huge relief that it is over. You’re not exactly sure what is going to happen in your life post break-up, but you’re pretty certain it can’t be worse than what you just escaped.
So this being my initial blog post (as you can tell by its amateurish content, design, layout, and everything else), I wanted to start with a topic that most CA minions can relate to which is the soul-sucking nature of the Corporate America World. Many of us start out fresh faced youngsters ready to take on the world with our energy and enthusiasm!! In the beginning we have so much unbridled optimism and have a plan to be well on the way to the C-suite within 1 to 3 years of starting in our new job…all it will take is hard work, determination, and the will to succeed before the senior execs – aka chuckle-heads – will take notice of what a great employee I am and how lucky they are to have me! (I must admit I laughed really hard after I wrote that last line…..). My question to you my fellow CA minions: How long were you in Corporate America before you became disillusioned? Was there a single awakening event, a moment of nirvana, an epiphany?? Or was it just a long, slow, slog before you realized that those in charge really had no clue??
For me it was more or less a series brutal, agonizing CA death marches towards silly unobtainable goals/projects, bad executive ( aka chuckle-head) decisions, questionable supervisors, and just a crappy corporate cultures before I realized no one was running the asylum!! When I started my first CA job out of college I truly thought CA managers and execs knew what they were doing. I was probably 5 to 6 years in (seems like a long time but I am a slow learner) that I realized that the chuckle-heads were no different than the Wizard from the Emerald City. I wished I had never pulled that curtain back – ignorance was so bliss! Once I knew the truth there was no going back. I must tell you that I have bounced around to several major CA companies but the chuckle-heads have just seemed to take it all over…..oh the humanity…..