Death by Meeting

The best part of the Corporate American Work Day!

16 SEP 2019

Hello Corporate American Minions! Once again here I am for another installment of truth.

     When  I get older I want to be a Corporate American minion, work in a cube, and attend lots of mind-numbing meetings – said no child growing up…ever.  When we were young we start out with such big plans, hopes, and dreams.  We were going to change the world! What the heck happens along the way to where we end up just quitting and giving up to trudge through our work life like zombies?  One day just blends into the next day.  If the day to day drudgery of sitting in a cubicle isn’t enough to make one go insane, we have also resigned ourselves to the task of attending meeting after meeting where there is A LOT of talking, but nothing ever gets said.  We have all sat in those meetings where poking your eardrums out with a ballpoint pen starts to seem like a good idea.  At least it is a better idea than anything being presented on the Powerpoint presentation you are being forced to endure.  I have sat through so many of those meetings over my corporate life that I feel like my eyes have started grow together to become one.  I will soon become a Corporate American minion-cyclops.  The sad thing is that my co-workers will not think that is strange at all.   We will all just sit in those meetings and stare at each other with our one eye. 

      Then there is “that guy” at the meeting – and it is normally a guy – that has the urge to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk…. you get the picture. “That guy” must never get the opportunity to talk when he is at home because he talks so much at work. It is as if he holds all his verbal conversation in until he gets to the office.  His family never hears him speak because he saves it all for the office? Could it be that if he goes too long without talking he may burst so its really a medical condition?  Maybe he is just trying to impress the boss with all the non-stop chatter? The boss would be the only person “that guy” might be trying to impress because he is just pissing everybody else off by allowing the meeting to drag on! I must admit that I have nodded off during a few of those marathon meetings, but truthfully when I did catch a few winks I didn’t really miss anything.  The weird thing is that once the meeting is over and the lemmings scurry out to attend the next meeting, it is as if the meeting they just attended never happened.  We will attend the same meeting next week to discuss the same issues with the same people.  We have all died and gone to meeting Hell.  No one will even notice we are stuck in this meeting “time space continuum”… We all accept this as normal corporate life. I have must have been a really crappy person in a previous life!!! 

So that is it for now my fellow CA minions send me your favorite Corporate America meeting story…. Be sure to check out the “THE CHALLENGE” page and send me your CA story.  If I use it I’ll send you a cheap, crappy T-shirt!!!

Until next time my minion-in-arms, keep your head down and keep wearing that Kevlar underwear!!

5 thoughts on “Death by Meeting

  1. Howdy, CD! Great post!

    I agree with you about meetings. The same blowhards talk in every meeting, saying the same things they said at last week’s meeting, trying to impress everyone with their use of acronyms and cliches and long words (that they are not aware that they are using in the wrong context). Everyone is just trying to convince everyone else (including themselves) that their job is important that, by extension, so are they.

    Like

    1. Have you been in my meetings? Haha…you could show up and start just saying most anything and stick “cyber-“, “virtual-“, “asymetric-” ,etc in front of most anything and you’ll fit right in….The IT department is the master of nonsense words!!! Everyone will be afraid to question it because they’ll be afraid that it will make them look like they are not in the know!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I think all corporate meetings are pretty much the same, no matter which company they’re held in. And I think the ratio of words to actual useful information is about 1000 to 1. 😀

        Like

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