Hump Day Humor


9 OCT 2019

Hello Corporate American Minions! Time for some mid-week Corporate America humor. This week’s installment of Hump Day Humor doesn’t really have anything to do with Corporate America. At least not directly. It is a comparison of religions in a very concise way… theology “dumb-ed down” for the busy minion. This list has been floating around in some form or another for at least 25 years. I just think it is funny, but I have pretty low standards.

Check out the list of “-isms”:

TaoismShit happens.
ConfucianismConfucius say, “Shit happens.”
BuddhismIf shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Zen BuddhismWhat is the sound of shit happening?
HinduismThis shit happened before.
MormonismThis shit is going to happen again.
IslamIf shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
StoicismThis shit is its own reward.
ProtestantismLet this shit happen to someone else.
CalvinismShit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
PentecostalismIn Jesus’ name, heal this shit!
CatholicismShit happens because you deserve it.
JudaismWhy does this shit always happen to us?
ZoroastrianismShit happens half the time.
MarxismThis shit is going to hit the fan.
AtheismNo shit.
Seventh Day AdventistNo shit on Saturdays.
ExistentialismAbsurd shit.
AgnosticismWhat is this shit?
NihilismWho gives a shit?
DeconstructionShit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian ScienceShit is in your mind.
MooniesOnly happy shit really happens.
Jehovah’s WitnessesKnock, Knock, shit happens.
ScientologyShit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare KrishnaShit happens, Rama Rama.
HedonismThere’s nothing like a good shit happening.
RastafarianismLet’s smoke this shit.

If I had to add a bullet point in regards to the religion of Corporate America-ism it would be something like: “Quit screwing around on the internet and get your shit done.”

Do you have any “-isms”? Please share them!!

Send me your Corporate America senseless humor (is there any other kind?). Be sure to check out the “THE CHALLENGE” page and send me your CA story, joke, etc.  If I use it I’ll send you a cheap, crappy T-shirt!!!

Until next time my minion-in-arms, keep your head down and keep wearing that Kevlar underwear!!

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