9 OCT 2019
Hello Corporate American Minions! Time for some mid-week Corporate America humor. This week’s installment of Hump Day Humor doesn’t really have anything to do with Corporate America. At least not directly. It is a comparison of religions in a very concise way… theology “dumb-ed down” for the busy minion. This list has been floating around in some form or another for at least 25 years. I just think it is funny, but I have pretty low standards.
Check out the list of “-isms”:
|Confucianism||Confucius say, “Shit happens.”|
|Buddhism||If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.|
|Zen Buddhism||What is the sound of shit happening?|
|Hinduism||This shit happened before.|
|Mormonism||This shit is going to happen again.|
|Islam||If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.|
|Stoicism||This shit is its own reward.|
|Protestantism||Let this shit happen to someone else.|
|Calvinism||Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.|
|Pentecostalism||In Jesus’ name, heal this shit!|
|Catholicism||Shit happens because you deserve it.|
|Judaism||Why does this shit always happen to us?|
|Zoroastrianism||Shit happens half the time.|
|Marxism||This shit is going to hit the fan.|
|Seventh Day Adventist||No shit on Saturdays.|
|Agnosticism||What is this shit?|
|Nihilism||Who gives a shit?|
|Deconstruction||Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.|
|Christian Science||Shit is in your mind.|
|Moonies||Only happy shit really happens.|
|Jehovah’s Witnesses||Knock, Knock, shit happens.|
|Scientology||Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard|
|Hare Krishna||Shit happens, Rama Rama.|
|Hedonism||There’s nothing like a good shit happening.|
|Rastafarianism||Let’s smoke this shit.|
If I had to add a bullet point in regards to the religion of Corporate America-ism it would be something like: “Quit screwing around on the internet and get your shit done.”
Do you have any “-isms”? Please share them!!
Send me your Corporate America senseless humor (is there any other kind?). Be sure to check out the “THE CHALLENGE” page and send me your CA story, joke, etc. If I use it I’ll send you a cheap, crappy T-shirt!!!
Until next time my minion-in-arms, keep your head down and keep wearing that Kevlar underwear!!